If we are actively living our faiths, our beliefs affect nearly every aspect of our lives. From simple day-to-day choices like the foods we will or will not eat to the more complex life choices like how we will raise our children. So, what exactly does it mean when you say you are a Buddhist Mom? Muslim Mom? Pagan Mom? Christian Mom? Jewish Mom? And so forth. How does your religion create your version of Mom?
For myself, I am a Pagan Mom and my spiritual beliefs have dramatically shaped my views on motherhood. I was not raised with any particular religion, although, like most people who grew up in the United States, I could not escape absorbing knowledge of Christianity. Visit the “Religion” section of any book store and you will find books on Christianity and perhaps Judaism (not sure why the sign doesn’t just say Christianity and Judaism).
With parents who had been raised in Christianity and growing up myself in a society saturated in Christianity, I found it very difficult to understand my own beliefs. Each time I was confronted with religion, my beliefs did not seem to match up and a sense of loneliness set in. I knew what I wasn’t, but I could never figure out what I was. I didn’t even know the questions to ask or where to seek the answers.
I literally stumbled upon Wicca, a branch of Paganism, and felt such a wonderful sense of relief. Here was a belief system that slipped in and fit with so much of what I believed. As I evolved and grew, I moved away from Wicca into a more general sense of Paganism, and adored how this was okay, that finding my own answers with the help of the Divine was perfectly acceptable.
At the same time, I continued (still do) to feel like an outsider. There have been business meetings where everyone discusses what church they belong to, or the casual conversations asking where my son attends Sunday school. There are the times when someone feels the need to convert me or inform me that my religion is not real or is somehow wrong/evil.
All of these have shaped my experience of life and has created my version of Pagan Mom. My version of Pagan Mom chooses to say Goddess more often than God to remind my son that either is acceptable, appropriate, and possible. My version of Pagan Mom reads aloud mythology and discusses stories from the Bible.
My version of Pagan Mom keeps her radar tuned for words of discrimination, bigotry, ignorance, that are parroted from outside influences. My version of Pagan Mom reminds my son that everyone is different and that no one should ever be made to feel bad about it.
My version of Pagan Mom actively celebrates Pagan Holidays with my son (although not having the day off work or school crimps our style). My version of Pagan Mom engages my son in issues of the environment and learning to love nature for more than what it can do for us. My version of Pagan Mom attempts to keep his eyes open to all the magick that can be found in the universe.
My version of Pagan Mom is someone who strives to introduce many religions to my son, to answer his questions from multiple viewpoints. My version of Pagan Mom brings to the foreground that no one religion is right for everyone, that religion is a relationship with Divine and can only be defined by that person and the Divine.
What about you? How does your religion create your version of Mom?
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23 Responses to What does it mean to be a (insert religion) mom?
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My name is Jacki and I am a divorced, Pagan mom trying to raise a son in a blended interfaith family. At The Raven's Spell you will find musings on motherhood, spirituality, divorce, and the blending of families. If you enjoy what you read, please be sure to find a way to follow.
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I can’t really answer the question you posed, but, wow, I’m 49, and after reading your post, I’m thinking I need to look into paganism… I was raised catholic, but as I have gotten older, I have drifted away from cat holism, big time. I claim to not have a religion, but I am spiritual.
Thanks for an eye opening post
Thanks for stopping by and I am glad I could provide you with a new way to look at things.
Jacki, like you Wicca resonated deeply with me at first. Still does. If anyone asks me what religion I belong to, I tell them that I’ll have to let them know when it stops evolving. I am a touch of Wiccan, Pagan, and Buddhist. I miss having a community to help train my children with my personal spiritual belief system. As you mentioned, society at large definitely leaves an imprint on our children. I finally found a Buddhist Temple that offers once a month classes for the kids. I am looking very forward to those classes. It is sad that we have to keep rather quiet when our spiritual beliefs vary from mainstream modern Christianity. They say, “It take a village to raise a child,” but we don’t have a village to fall back on for support. Which is another reason I think your blog rocks!!! Keep up the awesome work.
http://www.mykidsnmoreblog.com/
judy_kathleen recently posted..Nap Time Blues
Jacki, like you Wicca also resonated deeply with me at a younger age. When anyone asks me my religion: I tell them that I’ll let them know when it stops changing. A touch of Wiccan, Pagan, and Buddhist. It is difficult rearing children with my spiritual values; in this day and age. Its not like we can attend one of the churches on out local street corner. However, I have finally found a Buddhist Temple that has a children’s class once a month. Thus far that has come the closet to my personal belief system- in so far as finding a community of like minded individuals. My two irks where religion is concerned are 1) Lack of community support. And.. 2) Those that want to convert me. Which is why I adore your blog!! You rock.
mykidsnmoreblog.com
judy_kathleen recently posted..Nap Time Blues
Thanks!
The lack of structured community is one of my biggest irks about my belief system as well. I dream of “sunday schoos”, overnight summer camps, etc for Matthew, but as many of my pagan(ish) friends and I have discussed, we do not have a dogma to follow to create lessons from and there are sooooooo many variations of Paganism out there that no one would ever feel like their child is being taught their spirituality. But it still drives me bonkers. So I settle for finding storybooks that reflect my beliefs, chat about them often, and hold birthday parties for the sun on Yule.
Have you checked out the Unitarians? Many UU churches have CUUPS programs, which offer a non-denominational pagan service. Some even have a “sunday school”.
Thanks for the suggestion. Unfortunately, our UU church doesn’t have a CUUPS program. They are actually starting to offer a Wicca 101 class, but that is about it. We have ventured there on a few Sundays, but for the most part we have felt that they are just as strongly trying to convert us to Unitarianism as the Lutheran church tries to convert us to Christianity. We have also heard a bit to much Christian bashing for my Catholic partner to feel comfortable there, which knocks it down a few points for me.
Visiting from SITS and enjoying your site. No matter what your views, your son is surely fortunate to have a mom who thinks things through with such thoughtfulness and good intentions for him. Looking forward to reading more of your posts!
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Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes the “becaue I said so’s” are so much easier, but I know that he deserves well thought-out and honest answers, especially if he is going to grow up to be the man I know he can be. I hope you enjoy the rest of the blog.
My younger son and I recently had a conversation wherein he admitted to having an argument with one of his friends because said friend was trying to “save” him. Living in this society, where most of our friends have a “church” and even go there several times a week, our belief system (which I haven’t been able to fully articulate) just doesn’t fit.
Stopped by from SITS today, but will be sticking around via RSS
Kimberly recently posted..We reap what we sow
In kindergarten, my son came home with all kinds of stories about Satan and demons and the Devil. Someone’s big sister to it upon herself to “inform” him. All I could really think was of all these kids who are rattling what they have heard at church without any true understanding of what they were saying. Heck, as you said yourself, our personal religious beliefs can sometimes be incredibly hard to articulate. Even among other pagans, I sometimes am at a loss for words.
Glad to see you plan to follow. Can’t wait to get to know you better.
Twitter: SuburbanLifeJo
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I am Catholic like your partner and I do practice and love my church and traditions. Interestingly, I have found there is alot of Catholic bashing out there, mostly from other Christian religions and alot of ignorance about Catholic beliefs. Drives me crazy and I just don’t get why other people feel the need to tell someone their version of beliefs is wrong/evil or whatever, even more so when your basic beliefs align. I already read your blog and do enjoy checking in from time to time. Happy SITS day!
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There is a lot of intolerance toward Catholics. So many don’t realize the the KKK is anti-Catholic or remember that it was such a big deal when a Catholic was elected as president.
Twitter: Byondthewigshop
says:
My Christian beliefs shape me as a mother in one very important way … they inspired me not to become a mom at all. I know that sounds weird, as I am all too aware of the stereotype, but my relationship with God has taught me to understand my own unique design. I wasn’t created with this partiular set of gifts, talents, and needs for the purpose of doing what culture dictates for me. No, I was uniquely designed for a different purpose, or a whole bunch of purposes actually, because God doesn’t seem to mind change nearly as much as I do. He also seems to have a twisted sense of humor, which I love. So, I roll with punches, stay true to myself, and don’t let the cacophony of outside voices overrule the one still, small voice inside me.
Yes, the Divine definitely does seem have a twisted sense of humor and a desire for growth and change that keep us guessing. I love that you have acceptable your unique design and are being you, no matter what society may pressure you to be.
Twitter: dollsarealright
says:
Thank you for teaching your son about the many ways of Spirit. I’ve been a practicing combo of Pagan/Buddhist/Catholic/Jewish for many years now and know for a fact that the bottom line in all ways of Spirit is love, which is a powerful way to connect us all. How lucky will your son’s partner be! Sweet blessings to you this Solstice ~ Patricia
You are welcome. There is so much to learn from every Faith and no one Faith can fulfill all our spiritual needs. I hope this does allow him to grow up and appreciate others, especially a partner. Happy Solstice to you! Would love to hear how you celebrate the day.
Twitter: SparkReviews
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Even though I was raised a Christian, and we are raising our sons with what I’d describe as a “Christian background”, I still struggle with my faith a lot. Even at church or with friends who attend our church, I often feel that I don’t fit in, or I can’t truly be myself. I do think that Jesus and I are good, but it is often the people who aren’t quite as accepting.
Regardless, I’m stopping by from SITS, and I’m adding you to my reader. I’m all about a good DIY blog, but your kind of writing and subject matter makes my heart pitter patter.
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Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed your first visit here.
So many people struggle with their faith, it is really quite sad. And I think it is a lot of what you just said, they are fine and dandy until others stick their noses in. Because I have a non-traditional belief system, I have had to spend an extra amount of time learning to define my beliefs because I can’t just say “Pagan” and have everyone know what that means. Perhaps that is what everyone needs to do. If asked, what do you believe or what your religion is about, how would you answer? What would be the most important thing to get acrossed?
Twitter: VenusLeeloo
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I’m agnostic. My husband is Catholic. We both live our faith (me in that I strive to be the best person I can be, despite the fact that I haven’t yet found my personal relationship with the divine). We had to have a serious talk when we discussed getting married about how this would affect kids we may have. In the end, I have taken a tack which is similar to yours. I will expose my son (and any future children) to many religions, and many views of spirituality. My son will someday figure out his own way. He may decide to be Catholic, he may decide to be agnostic, heck, he may decide to be pagan. And all of those are OK, as long as he’s making a choice that is real for him and allows him to live his life in honesty. Great post, thanks for sharing!!! And happy belated SITS day!! Oh – and happy upcoming Solstice
I’m not sure if that’s one of the holidays you celebrate, but I’ve always found it to be a lovely time of year to reflect.
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I love that you are allowing him to make his own choices. I do admit that it does scare me a little that my son may choose a religion that teaches him intolerance and that Mom’s choices are wrong, or worse, evil. But I will keep my fingers crossed that I will raise a person that would not be attracted to that attitude in the first place.
Twitter: heather_artiste
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Not a mom but I find this fascinating and wonderful to think about. I love that you found what is right for you and make sure your child is exposed to more than just your own belief system.
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Thank you for your kind words. Finding what is right for us can be so hard that I want to make sure he knows all of his options.